The quest for a man-boy to find the greatest of melbourne's food.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
The FFYS Rating System
Before we get through to assessment of restaurants/cafes/brothels, we must first identify the diners and their usual orders.
#0: I would always research extensively (around 10 minutes) by viewing previous diners experiences and critic views to receive Best Meal. At the time of no guidance, eg. just walk into a joint, I always order the 9th thing on the menu. I receive BM about 1/2 the time.
#1: I often eat with my brother (which to remain anonymous will remain under the pseudonym of Josh), which unfortunately usually orders the largest sounding thing on the menu and about 1/4 of the time receives the BM.
#2: My sister, who will be nicknamed JB always order the prettiest sounding thing on the menu and anything with passion-fruit, receives the BM about 1/98 times.
#3/4: Dad is one of the most ANNOYING diners in the world. He refuses to order an entrée or a dessert but will always “try” yours, by that I mean take half the plate. Mum is great because I always end up convincing her what to get, and ends up having the rest because she has the most impossibly high standards. Obtains BM at around 1/8 of the time.
#5/6/7… 99(?): Friends in general, they’re always good to have as they always get confused in asian restaurant and I have to help them order. They never receive BM.
And away we go!
